Tag Archives: positive

The Art of Feeling Good (Maggie)

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Dozer at 1, Running with an Apple

“If you had one goal, and that was to feel good, you would never again need to hear another word from anyone. You would live successfully and happily and in a way of fulfilling your life’s purpose ever after.”
~Abraham

This is one of my favorite quotes. I have many favorite quotes, and I enjoy sharing them far and wide, but more than that, I enjoy picking them apart and trying to figure out how to turn a pithy bit of what sounds like ingenious advice, into a life-enhancing habit.  And this seems like an easy one. Feel good.  Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But many of us might not think so. How does one go about just feeling good when the things around them are bad?

Well, here’s the thing. It’s not what’s happening around you that makes you feel bad in most cases. It’s not what other people are doing or not doing, or where you live or how much money you have. It’s what you think and feel about those things. Short of a health crisis or the loss of a loved one, nothing else really has the power to make you feel bad. And we’ll come back to those great big things too.  So let’s look at this.

Here are the key things. First, we have to get a very firm handle on the simple truth that it’s

Niblet’s favorite thing: A Mud Facial

not anyone else’s job to make us happy. If we really truly believe that, then the notion of, “I’d be happy if only my husband would change,” or “if only my kids would help out more,” or “if only (anyone) would do or stop doing (anything)” would never occur to you again. You see?

Second, we have to get just as firm a grasp on the concept that it’s not our job to make anyone else happy. First, because it’s impossible to do. No matter how hard we try, we can never do enough to please everyone in our lives because they all want different things and without being in their heads, we can’t even be sure what all those things are. And because no one can make anyone happy. Your one and only job is to choose to be happy yourself.

The third thing is to live in the current moment. It’s cliche, but think about it, pick it apart. What does it mean? When you’re walking or sitting or resting or trying to sleep, what’s going through your mind? A million things, I know. But most of them fall into one of two categories: Past, that is the reliving of what happened yesterday (or last week or last month) and thinking I should have done this or I should have said that. Or future, which is worrying about tomorrow, or next week or next month and thinking I’ll never make that deadline, we’re going to run out of money, that huge bill is due, I’ve got some unpleasant thing I have to do.

Daisy and Niblet’s other Favorite Thing: SNOW!

How often do we really stop to just BE in the present moment? To feel the soft pillow beneath our head, the warm body beside us, the snuggly covers keeping us warm. How often do we look around the room and smile at the colors we picked or the curtains we chose, or take comfort in the pictures on our walls? How many times do we stop what we’re doing to pause and just bask in where we are in that very moment? Almost never.

When you are worrying, you are actively creating your future. The thoughts you think become the beliefs you believe, and what you believe is what comes true for you. If that doesn’t make you want to stop worrying, I don’t know what will.

So when the worries come, ask yourself why you’re thinking about this thing that makes you feel so badly. Can you fix it right now? If so, do it and get it off your mind. If not, then why dwell on it? Why not think about something that makes you feel good instead? You’re in charge of what you dwell on, after all. No one else, just you.

“Selfishly seek joy, for unless you are in your joy, you have nothing to offer anyone else.”
~Abraham

Do you know anyone who is always complaining? About life, their marriage, their bills, their job, their kids, etc? It’s exhausting and draining to be around them, isn’t it?

Do you know anyone who is always upbeat, positive, happy? Do you notice how you always feel better when you’re around them?

So here’s your question. Which person do you want to be? Why not be the person that others feel better around? Why not beam with so much peace, serenity, and calm that everyone around you feels calmer? Why not beam so much joy and giddiness and love of life that everyone around you feels happier?

Now back to those big bad things that life can bring us. Health crises, losses of those we love (we don’t really lose them you know, but that’s another blog post.) Studies of happiness have shown that those people who have a normal state of happiness that’s in the high range, tend to bounce back from tragedies more quickly and deal with them more healthily. Those who are always down, tend to be crippled by the same types of losses. People return to what is their “norm.”  What’s yours?

Dozer (upright) Daisy & Niblet playing in sprinkler.

Dogs don’t worry. Dogs are always, always in the moment. And they find more joy in their short lifespans than humans do in our much longer ones. Be in the moment, and find joy in what is there. Like a dog with an apple or a mud-puddle or new snow or a sprinkler, find something to be utterly giddy about in every moment of your existence. Make happiness be your normal state. And every single thing in your life will improve…not just a little bit–it’ll snowball. And it will begin immediately.

Choose Joy. It takes nothing more than accepting that it is a choice, and realizing that you are the one in control of making it.  And then consistent practice, every day, with every thought, choosing to focus on what feels good and refusing to dwell on what doesn’t.

 

 

Time Travel 101 (Maggie)

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Time travel is entirely possible. Stay with me here, this is good.  First thing this morning, I was planning to come in here and type the words, “Jogging, THEN blogging. Check back later.”  I was feeling as if I was already running behind, rushing around, trying to get everything done.  I have a book to finish today, and a workout to fit in, because I skipped yesterday. I ought to do two!  And it’s nearly ten, and then I realized I had a blog post to write for today.  And I started to feel panicky.  I started to think, “There’s not enough time left in this day to do all the things on my to-do list!” And I believe it.

When I start to feel that way, I feel it in my body.  My heart starts to skip a little.  My blood pressure creeps up. My mood turns cranky and urgent.  It’s not a good feeling at all.  But there are other symptoms that turn up as a direct result of this thought in my head.  I start finding more and more things to do, and less and less time to get them done.  Each time I look at the clock, more time than is humanly possible, has somehow sped by.  Time is literally moving faster for me.  And each time I see that fact represented by the clock’s hands, I believe more firmly that there is not enough time for me today.  And then time moves still faster, and more things come up to take it up.  Phone calls, urgent tasks that were forgotten, and suddenly need doing now.

It snowballs.  Why?  You know why.  Because what you think about, what you believe, what you expect, is what you create.  And also because (and you might not know this quite as well) time is mutable.  It’s flexible. You can stretch and bend it.  There are reasons for sayings like “Time flies when you’re having fun” and “A watched pot never boils.”  You can bend time.

On days when I find something I want to do, that I would really enjoy, I do them first.  Take this past Sunday for example, when I should have gone up to my office to work on the book, but I wanted to take an extra hour to watch Meet the Press first.  I said to myself, “I have plenty of time. I have all day to write. I can take the time to do this, and still get all my work done.” And I sat down and watched the show.  I got all my pages done that day, got a 5 mile run in, and a shower, and had some quality goof off time before dinner and a relaxing evening.  (*Note, I don’t usually work weekends.  I’m finishing a book this week so it’s an exception.)

I had, on that day, the same amount of work, the same number of hours in the day, the same pressing desire to fit in a workout and some fun time, and I got it all done.  What’s the difference between that day, and this one?  Only my thoughts.  Only my beliefs.

So when I found myself rushing the dogs through their walk this morning, my heart beating too fast as I clapped my hands at them and said, “Let’s go, let’s go, I’ve got stuff to do!” I just suddenly stopped.  I stood still, closed my eyes.  “I’ve got all day,” I told myself.  “It’ll get done when it gets done, and I’ve got all day.  All weekend too.  I’ve got plenty of time.  It’s all good.”  And I took my time for the rest of the walk, enjoyed the sunshine, debated whether I’d do a jog (it was getting a little warm) or a big DVD workout in my office with the AC running (probably the option I’ll take.)  And then I came back inside and instead of putting up a “too busy right now, be back later” note in this space, decided to write about my methods for stretching time.

1.  Stop looking at the clock.  Move it away from the area where you are if you can. Take off your watch.

2.  Be in the moment.  Be completely focused on the task you are doing right now. Do not allow thoughts about what comes next to enter your mind. (They will anyway. Just gently release them and focus on the present moment.)

3. For big tasks, close your eyes and imagine them already completed. See the result in your mind, see the finished product, the cleaned room, the stack of manuscript pages going into the envelope or the file attaching itself to an email addressed to the editor. See it, and say it. “It’s already done. It’s already done. It’s already done.”

4. Take the time to do things you want to do, in the order you want to do them, and while you’re taking that time, take extreme pleasure in it, don’t rush through it. Taking time to do what you want most, is LIVING the belief that you have plenty of time.  LIVING the belief that there’s no need to rush, is how you create that reality in your life.  Don’t rush and there will honest to goodness BE no need to rush.   (Rushing, on the other hand, is living the opposite belief, and making it true.) Relish every moment.  You’ll be surprised at how much better your next task will go.  (And do the same with it!)

Now this ability is going to grow and grow in you if you practice it all the time.  I amazed myself recently with an even bigger example of this.  On a flight home from a conference we hit some terrible weather.  The plane was small and being hurled around in a very alarming way, and I found myself getting very afraid.  I closed my eyes, and imagined myself getting off the plane at the destination airport, still three hours away.  I saw the sun, shining down on the tarmac.  I saw myself walking up the gangway into the airport.  I swear to you I did not fall asleep.  I said, in my mind, “I’m already there.  It’s already done.  I’m already there.”  And when I opened my eyes, I was calmer.  I might have opened my e-reader or sipped my beverage to distract myself from the storm.  I don’t know, but what I do know is that within a few short minutes of that brief mental exercise, I felt the plane angling downward and realized we had begun our descent into the destination airport. Outside, the skies were clear and sunny.  My watch told me nearly three hours had passed, but I experienced only a few minutes.

This is a true story. It’s got to do with quantum physics and the theory that there are as many different versions of reality as their are choices you can make, that time isn’t really linear, but that all time exists now, and that we create everything in our experience like projecting thoughts onto a movie screen. I simply chose the reality I wanted, and by my focus, stepped into it.

So why don’t you try your hand at using my methods (and experiment with your own) for stretching and bending time to fit around you, instead of bending yourself all out of shape to fit into it. See what happens!

Make it a great day and relish every minute of it.

“And now a word from our sponsor…er, me!”

Now just a commercial moment here.  We are down to something like 43 days before The Portal Series launches with a free ebook prequel on September 1st, followed by book 1, Mark of the Witch, on the 18th in print, and October 1st in E.  We’re giving away an ARC a week at my Facebook Page, and on August 1st we’ll be announcing a huge new contest on The Portal Books page.  I hope you’ll follow along and participate in both!

 

The Nice Gene (Maggie)

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The discovery of the so-called “Nice” gene is in the news today.   A recent study by two big universities found that people who tend to treat others with kindness, more often than not, share “specific variations of a gene that’s associated with human kindness.” Here’s the article.

This is nothing new.  Last August the University of Edinburg in Australia made similar findings concerning the heredity aspect of happiness.  But they, at least, were quick to add that the genetic factor was only half of the equation.   Here’s that piece, which includes tips on being happy regardless of your DNA.

I can just see some folks (we all know who they are) proudly exclaiming, “AHA!  See?  It’s not my fault that I’m a total a-hole!  It’s my DNA!”  But let’s take a minute and look a little closer.

The DNA you have when you croak, is not going to match, precisely, the DNA you had when you were born.  Many many factors can cause changes or mutations in your genes.  Negative mutations, as well as positive ones.  Things like diet, exercise, toxins to which you are exposed, radiation, chemicals, and habits can all have an impact on your DNA.  Read the science here.

I submit to you that it’s not the “specific variation” of the gene that makes you kind to others, or the presence of the happiness gene that makes you happy.  I submit to you, and to the researchers, that the consistent practice of kindness to others can cause the specific variation to the “kindness gene” to happen.  And that the consistent habit of choosing to be happy, of looking for things to be happy about, can in fact activate and empower the “happiness gene.” And I challenge science to put this to the test.  Take some people who don’t have either one of these aspects showing in their DNA profile, and have them wholeheartedly practice happiness, and watch what happens.

We already know that habits create neuropathways in the brain that become so deeply embedded, like the tracks on an old vinyl record album, that they become automatic responses to specific stimuli.  Like biting one’s nails during the exciting parts of a TV show (me) or smoking a cigarette whenever you drink a cup of coffee, or eating when stressed out.  They get so automatic you do them unconsciously, unintentionally.  And those habits are hard to break because of those “grooves” or pathways.  But you can replace them with other pathways by deliberately choosing a different action to go with each trigger, and creating a new groove.

We also know that certain thoughts, feelings and behaviors release chemicals in our bodies that bring about physical changes.  Exercise produces the same chemicals that anti-depressants do, for example.  Love and chocolate produce the same chemical release.

So being happy, and being automatically kind to others can become our natural tendencies if we simply choose to make them so.  And we choose them by looking for things to be happy about, instead of looking for things to complain or worry about and looking for ways to be kind to others, rather than waiting for an opportunity to be mean.  The simple decision to be happy is one that can be made right now, right this very minute.  And from there, it’s just a matter of consistently shifting your focus and attention to the good things, and away from the bad.

This will do more than mutate your genes into kinder, happier ones.  It will make you healthier.  It’ll make you live longer.  It’ll make your life improve on every level.  It’ll make your income go up.  It’ll save your relationships, cure your ailments, solve your problems, and if enough of us do it, bring about world peace and heal the planet.

Don’t believe me?  Then put it to the test.  What have you got to lose, after all?

Share this post with the sad-sacks and grouchy-grumps in your life.  Maybe they’ll smile.

Till next time,

Maggie

PS: If you liked this post, you’ll love my nonfiction book full of advice for a better life, SHAYNE ON YOU, available at KINDLE  NOOK and SMASHWORDS (all formats.)

 

 

 

The Forgotten Art of Manners (Maggie)

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Cover by Authors' Life Saver

Before we get started on today’s post, I want to crow a little about my soon to be blockbuster non-fiction release, Shayne on You. It goes on sale later this week, and there will be links to buy on my Website, Facebook Page, Twitter, and on my Solo Blog.

For several years I wrote an advice column for the Norwich Evening Sun, and this book is a compilation of the best of those, along with some original essays, blog posts and other pieces, giving advice and insights on every problem I was asked about (and some that I wasn’t.)  It’s very positive energy, Law of Attraction based, just like most of my posts here, so if you like the things I talk about here and think you’d like more, this book is for you.  I’ve enjoyed it so much it’s going to lead to more non-fiction, I’m sure.

And now, on to today’s topic, which is sort of an advice column in itself.  I want to talk about manners, and how we seem to have forgotten what they are, or how to use them when it comes to the Internet.

The event that got me onto this topic was that a dear friend of mine and a talented, professional, multipublished author, re-released one of her out of print titles, formerly pubbed by a major house, to rave reviews and lovely acclaim.  The praise for the book was universal.  Until one person posted a scathing review, giving the book 1 star, and insulting it and its author.  The reviewer got most of the facts about the book wrong, proving she hadn’t read it (and given her spelling and grammar, I wondered if she was capable of reading it.)  When I checked, this reviewer had no other reviews posted anywhere ever.  Which led me to believe she had a personal grudge with the author (which would be like having a grudge with Mary Poppins, or Maria Von Trapp, or any other character Julie Andrews ever played, but that’s beside the point.)

The point is, why do people do this?  Even if they really don’t like a book, why do they think it’s okay to publicly berate, insult, and spit upon someone else’s creation like that?  What is up with these anonymous reviewers on Amazon?   Okay, art is subjective.  What one person loves, another person doesn’t.  But that doesn’t mean they have to hate it.  Why not just accept it’s not their cup of tea, write a thoughtful review explaining why, and move on?  Why the vitriol?  The anger?  The viciousness?

Don’t they know that when you spill that sort of venom everywhere you go, you’re getting it all over yourself, and attracting more of it your way?

So I was thinking about that, and thinking too about all the other rude, obnoxious things I see online that always surprise me.  Girlfriends spitting venom at each other on Facebook, relatives airing their family squabbles, women sniping at other women, teens griping about their moms, and just all around nastiness.

People, you may feel as if you are sitting home alone, just you and your device of choice.  But your words are shooting out into the world as loudly as if you were speaking into a microphone on CNN, or standing in the middle of a crowded shopping mall shouting them at the top of your lungs.  So really, just knock it off already.

There.  Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I promised some other friends who’ve been feeling slightly attacked lately that I’d post this wonderful ritual created by famous mega-Witch and author Miss Dorothy Morrison.  It is a spell, really, for taking negative energy and transmuting it into any goal your little heart desires.  With apologies to Miss D if I get anything slightly different from her original version, as it’s been a while since I’ve read it.  You know how as you use recipes over the years, you tend to tweak them as you go?  Well, I’ve probably tweaked this a bit, but it’s one of my favorite spells ever, and it works.

Transmuting Negative Energy Spell

You’ll need: a cookie sheet, tin foil, some salt, pen and paper, a lighter, and three altar candles (they’re tiny and used to come 4 or 5 for a buck in various colors.  Use any candle you like, even birthday candles can work.  Color them with magic markers or even crayons.) The candles, ideally, should be black, white, and some in-between color you consider neutral, such as gray.

Line the cookie sheet with tin foil.

Heat the bottom of the first candle until it’s a little melty, and stand it on one end of the cookie sheet.

Repeat with the gray candle, standing it in the center.

Repeat with the white candle, standing it on the opposite end.

Using the salt, draw a line from the black candle to the gray, and then from the gray to the white, making a circle of salt around the white.

Write your magickal goal (a wish, if you will) on the piece of paper, fold it, and set it within the circle of salt with the white candle.

Now, get yourself into a nice, quiet, calm state, and as you light that black candle, think about all the negativity others have been sending your way.  Any hate, anger, resentment, insults, bad reviews, etc. Put all of it right into that candle.  Let it burn as you just send it all to the candle.  See that candle capturing every bit of it.

Follow the trail of salt with your gaze, to the gray candle, and now light that.  Think about how energy isn’t ever good or bad, it’s just energy.  Like electricity, it doesn’t have malicious thoughts or evil intent.  It’s just power.  It’s what people do with it that make it good or bad.  See the energy moving from the black candle, through the trail of salt, becoming purified by the salt, until it is just energy, neutral, pliable, filling that gray candle.  All the bad stuff got left behind in the salt.  Now you’ve just got pure raw power.

Good.  Once you’re comfortable with that thought, shift your attention to the next trail of salt, and follow it with your eyes and attention to the white candle, moving that now neutral energy right along with your focus.  It’s shooting forward, no longer hampered by anything dark, it’s yours to use as you wish, and you are controlling and directing that energy now, toward something you really want.  The something that you wrote on the piece of paper.  Light the white candle and watch it burn as you meditate on the wish, the goal, the thing you want.  See all the energy following the trail of salt into that circle, activated by the candle, empowered by your focus, and really begin to feel the feelings of having the thing you desire, as if you already do.  Feel it, practice it in your mind.  (Give the acceptance speech, cry real tears.  That sort of thing.)

When you feel as if you are finished, you are finished.  You can let the candles burn until they burn themselves out, or if you need to extinguish them, put out black first, then gray, and let the white one burn a bit longer.

The final thing you should do is burn your slip of paper, lighting it from the flame of the white candle, and then letting it burn itself out within the circle of salt.

When you’ve finished, peel the tin foil off the pan, wrapping up everything inside it, salt, candle stubs, ashes and all.  Bury it to ground the energy, and wash your hands when you’ve finished.  And then forget it.  As we say in The Craft, “It is done.”

What better revenge can you have, ever, than using some hater’s anger and nastiness toward you, to get something wonderful for yourself?  How fun is it that the more they hate you, the more energy they’ve given you to work with?  Isn’t it just the most deliciously delightful spell ever?

And isn’t it also a fantastic way to stop feeling bad about some nasty thing someone said or did to you? It’s always best if you can ignore it, not feel hurt by it to begin with.  But we’re human, and sometimes these things (especially nasty reviews by anonymous haters) just keep eating away at us no matter how aligned we think we are.  This little ritual gives us a way to burn that bad feeling up, and shift our focus onto something good instead.  And since you always get what you are most focused on, it’s a very useful little trick indeed, to help you pivot from feeling bad, to feeling great again.

Enjoy!

Maggie

The Benefits of Basking! (Maggie)

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Maggie

I'm clearly thinking something evil here!

It’s July! Can you believe it? I know it’s cliche to say how time flies, but it really does seem to be speeding faster and faster for me. July already! Wow. By the end of August the leaves will be starting to turn. But let’s stay focused in the present.

It’s a big holiday weekend for those of us here in the US of A, as Independence Day, otherwise known as the fourth of July, is this coming Sunday. Lance I have big plans, too. We’re heading up to Black Lake with the dogs, and we hope to be out on the water to watch the annual, huge fireworks display. We’re going to take our kayaks and just have a fun, relaxing weekend. The weather looks gorgeous and there’s not one thing here that we can’t leave for a couple of days.

This is a weekend for some serious basking. So much tension, a lot of it good tension, but even excitement is a form of tension, right? I’ve been on pins and needles as the first of my six-in-a-row releases, KILLING ME SOFTLY, was released this week.

It took one of my favorite emails, the daily quote from Abraham, on my Facebook page, to remind me to relax. Here’s what it said: (And I’ll explain the parts that someone new to this stuff might not get at first glance.)

“The thing that we want you to understand is, through all this sorting and sifting, you have done all the asking. You have made all the decisions, one at a time, and they’re all in your vortex and they’re all queued up. You’ve done the work.

“Now your work is to play on the beach. Your work is to release resistance. Your work is to appreciate and bask and find clarity and look for delicious ease and flow. In other words, your work is to look for feelings that feel good. Your work is non-work. Your work is to relax and release. Relax and Release, relax and release. And it is our promise to you that you will find all of those answers. They are all queued up. You’ve  just got to get into the vortex!

“You’ve got to stop clinging to what’s out of the vortex. You’ve  got to  loosen your grip on what’s outside the vortex. You’ve got to play more. You’ve got to laugh. You gotta release more. You’ve got to have more fun. You’ve got to think less and you’ve got to meditate more. You’ve got to bask more.

“Don’t make it a thinking game, let it be a feeling game. Then watch what happens. So much there for you!”

Okay, so let’s review this bit of wisdom. The work is already done, it says. The work that’s done is what Abraham calls the sifting and sorting and deciding. What that means is that as you go through life, you come across things you like and things you don’t like, and every time you see something you like, some part of you wishes for more of that. And every time you see something you don’t like, a part of you, way down deep, realizes what would be better, and a desire for that improvement is launched. Your car breaks down, you automatically launch a desire for a car that’s dependable. See?

When you want something, the higher part of you, the part that is pure spirit, that is part of the greater Whole, the Universe, shoots out and becomes the thing you’ve wished for. It’s done. You’ve created the new car just by wanting it. You just can’t see it or touch it just yet.

Now the only thing you have to do to get it, is to stop focusing on the broken car. Because you can only get what you focus on. And focusing on that broken car, keeps you in the broken car. The broken car has served its purpose. It showed you what you wanted, what would be better. You’re done with it now. Turn your attention away from it, and get onto a subject that feels good. When you feel good, the new car, and all the other desires you’ve launched without knowing it, and those you’ve knowingly launched too, begin flowing straight into your life.

Abraham calls the place where the things you have created, but that haven’t manifested for you yet, are kept, your “Vortex.” Or your “Escrow.” That’s where your new car is. When you’re blissfully happy and have not a worry in the world, you are in there too, and that’s where all the good stuff is.

So when something big and bad happens, here’s what you need to know. It happens based on what
you put into your vortex somewhere in the past. It’s old news. It had to go somewhere, so just know that it’s temporary. It also happens for a reason–to give you some contrast so you can see more clearly what would be better. Your wish for the improvement is the only reality to focus on. Your attention to the current “reality” will only keep it “real” longer. “Ignore it and it’ll go away” is a surprisingly powerful truth.

I tell you this so that you will no longer feel guilty when you are doing “nothing.” Lying on the a sun-drenched beach, or frolicking in the water. Barbecuing or watching fireworks. Screaming in delight on a rollercoaster or basking in your lover’s arms–these activities are accomplishing more for you than all the hard work you’ve ever done or ever will. Moments of bliss are what open the floodgates and allow more bliss to flow into your life.  And the work you do from a place of bliss, will go rapidly, easily, efficiently and bring more reward than any work you do from a place of tension and worry.

So give yourself permission to bask. Maybe even with a good book!

Happy 4th of July, Everyone! Let me know how you’re celebrating!

Abraham-Hicks.com