Please Redeem Me

So what happens when you have a character show up in the first book of your 4-part series who is so annoying and unlikeable reviewers call him “a complete and utter PITA”? (P I T A = pain in the arse…as my mother would have said.)

Well…naturally, you make him your next HERO.

My working image of Austen Zabrinski.

My working image of Austen Zabrinski.

In Cowgirl Come Home, my hero’s brother, Austen Zabrinski, shows up repeatedly. He’s…um…difficult. He has attitude. Here’s a snippet. Tell me if this sounds like a hero to you?

She only had a vague recollection of Paul’s older brother since he left for college before she and Paul started dating. But everybody in Marietta knew Austen.

His name had been in the Courier every week since he was MVP in at least three sports. All the girls wanted to date him, although he never had a steady that Bailey could remember. He gave the class speech at graduation. She knew that for a fact because she’d been selected as one of the four freshman girls to pass out programs at the door.

She’d listened closely because he had the audacity to buck the system, showing up with his longish hair artfully tousled, a movie-star goatee and bare ankles, hinting that he was wearing shorts under his gown.

At the time, Bailey had been impressed.

Now, not so much. She’d met more than her share of promoters, lawyers and wealthy stockmen over the years. And one thing she knew for certain was money did not automatically signify class.

More nervous than she had been when she left the house, she walked slowly and deliberately, trying not to limp.

Show no weakness. She couldn’t remember if the adage applied to wild animals and lawyers, or just lawyers.

Thank goodness I called in an order. She could pick it up and run. No need to bring up the ridiculous idea of going on a date. No harm, no foul.

She went straight to the cash register, not looking right or left. “Bailey Jenkins. To-go,” she told the young woman behind the till.

The girl–about sixteen working her first summer job, Bailey guessed–spun about and dashed to the kitchen window, where a clothesline of white orders were strung.

“Ironically appropriate, don’t you agree? A To-Go order. Your modus operandi, no?”

She turned, her purse clutched to her belly–bling side out, as if the glitter might magically ward off the attack she sensed coming. “I beg your pardon?”

Austen had changed since the cocky kid at the school podium. More than the expensive suit and cover-model haircut, his style shouted, “Warning: rich, influential, angry man with agenda. Look out.”

He leaned in. Not so his words were kept between them. No. In fact, he spoke loudly, with succinct clarity so the entire jury of her peers could hear. “It’s not my pardon you need to beg, Bailey. It’s my brother’s.”

I know. Right? A complete and utter jerk. So, what on earth would possess an author to pick such an unlikable character to make her next hero?

I wish I could tell you. I honestly don’t know. But I will say I found Austen intriguing. I wanted to know why he was so caustic, so judgmental. I loved his brother, Paul, so much I figured if Paul was so great surely there was some good, something redeemable in Austen.

And I learned a long time ago, while working with my first editor, that sometimes you don’t have any choice about who your characters choose to love.

My third Harlequin Superromance is called BACK IN KANSAS. This is a spin-off from a book titled His Daddy’s Eyes. The hero, Bo, is a recovering alcoholic. And in the course of writing His Daddy’s Eyes, he proved to be a very annoying character because he constantly wanted to be on center stage. I hate to admit this to non-writers, but there came a time when I said out loud, “If you want to be a hero, you can be a hero in the next book. Now, back off and be a good secondary character so I can finish this book.”

As strange as that sounds, he did. So, when I was working on my next proposal, I talked to my editor about who I thought would make a good heroine for Bo. She hesitated a moment and said, “But, obviously he’s in love with Chloe.”

It was my turn to hesitate a moment or three. “But Chloe is a reformed prostitute,” I reminded her.

My editor replied, nonchalantly, “I’m sure our readers are evolved enough to know that not every character comes to a story with an unblemished past.”

The voice in my head is freaking out. “There’s blemished and then there’s prostitute!”

To my editor, of course, I said, “Okay. Let’s give that a try. ”

What came out of that collaboration was a story that scared me to death to write but connected powerfully with readers. And from that point on, I no longer was afraid of unredeemable characters.

The fact is every one of us has our not-so-heroic moments. We’re human. Maybe that’s what makes the difficult ones–real and imagined–easy to relate to.

Austen Zabrinski is very human. When we meet him in COWGIRL COME HOME, he’s going through an extremely tough time (off screen). He’s at a crossroads in his life and he’s questioning whether everything he’s done to that point was for naught. We don’t know any of this until he shows up on my new heroine’s doorstep needing help. Luckily, as fate would have it, she is the perfect person to help him figure out exactly where he needs to be and who he really is.

I love it when that happens. Don’t you?

PS: the title of this blog made me think of Englebert Humperdink’s 1985 hit Please Release Me. Here’s the link in case you need a laugh. I’m still giggling.

And if you’d like to “meet” Austen Zabrinski, leave a comment. I’ll pick one winner to receive a review copy of NOBODY’S COWBOY next week.

Austen--as the hero I always knew he could be.

Austen–as the hero I always knew he could be.



Warm fuzzies

I’m so darn excited.

I’m doing a book signing tomorrow at Epic Alpaca Ranch’s two-day National Alpaca Days celebration.

Alpaca flier

I was fortunate to spend one morning at the ranch a few months back when I was researching my book, Nobody’s Cowboy. The heroine of my book raises alpacas, and while you can learn a lot from watching videos and researching information on the Internet, nothing quite matches the hands-on, up-close and personal interaction with your subject matter–especially when you’re trying to describe something as warm and fuzzy as alpaca fleece.

The morning of my interview, Casey and Steve Aitchison gave me the hands-on tour of their amazing breeding facility and home. I learned sooo much, but my biggest take-away was the passion alpaca ranchers bring to their business/hobby/profession. They LOVE their animals–something I hope I conveyed in Nobody’s Cowboy.

And, believe me, one hug from one of the warm fuzzies and it’s easy to fall in love.

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My first try. Obviously, I’m not a natural alpaca nanny.

photo courtesy of Epic Alpacas.

Alpaca love is two-sided. (Photo courtesy of Epic Alpacas.)

There's a llama named Dolly in my book, too.

There’s a llama named Dolly in my book, too.

Here’s a scene from Nobody’s Cowboy that quite a few readers have mentioned in their reviews. As you’ll see, I had a little fun with this at Austen Zabrinski’s expense. But if you met him in Cowgirl Come Home, you know he deserved this. ;-)

He’s too pretty for this kind of job. Pretty boys don’t like to get dirty.

Serena ignored the voice in her head. She had no choice. She needed help and he was the best–the only–option on her plate at the moment. She could almost hear her educator father saying, “When choosing between bad and worse, take bad. But don’t complain later. It was your choice and it could have been… worse.”

“She’s in the middle stall.”

His size made the large barn feel smaller. She was still getting to know her space and make it her own. Having someone as dynamic as Austen Zabrinski on site made her edgy. Luckily, the procedure would only take a few minutes. Then, she could run him home and get back to work.

So. Much. Work.

Her parents kept a herd twice this size running like clockwork for years. Serena hadn’t questioned her own ability to manage a breeding operation until she figured out what was missing from the equation–a partner.

Fat chance of finding one of those . She sized up Austen again. He’d make a good one, if he weren’t so darn pretty.

“Generally, alpacas are very sweet-tempered and friendly, but when annoyed or stressed they do spit. And kick,” she added.

“Good to know.”

She opened the wooden stall door.

He followed her in after a slight hesitation. “Whoa. Two. Is the bigger one her mother? Or a male?”

“Betty is the black. Jezebel’s a rose gray. Alpacas are herd animals. They get very distressed alone. And we keep the males separate. My boys are clear on the other side of the barn. I take the breeding part of this job very seriously. Bloodlines are important, and keeping good records is imperative. No accidental pregnancies allowed.”

He made a garbled sound, as if he’d swallowed a fly. But when he failed to comment, she walked straight to the pair. Arms at her side, she leaned forward, nose first. Jezebel gave her a friendly sniff and nibbled on her hair. Betty took a step closer but didn’t touch her. “Betty Lou’s a little shy. She’s just three. Jezebel is an old hand at this sort of thing.”

Austen closed the gate but didn’t advance. “They’re really cute, aren’t they? It almost looks like they’re smiling.”

A common comment.

“The under bite. Gets you every time. My parents bought a pair–one for me and one for my brother–when I was fifteen. It was love at first sight for me. My brother… not so much. But one of the first computer programs he wrote was for cataloguing each animal by its genealogy. Every alpaca sold has to have a DNA test to prove its bloodline,” she added, acknowledging not for the first time the irony in her choice of hobbies-slash-professions.

Serena considered raising and breeding alpaca to be of equal importance if not more intrinsic to her soul with her day job. She would quit being an auditory specialist in a heartbeat if she could make a living from breeding, selling cria–alpaca offspring– and fiber sales.

One reason she’d moved to Montana was to lower her feed costs. With proper grassland management, she hoped to show a profit in the next couple of years.

“I didn’t know that,” her new helper said stepping closer.

The girls huddled together, nervously glancing at the newcomer. Serena stepped between the two creatures to grab Betty around the neck. Every animal in her herd was used to be touched. Some played hard to get, but most were tolerant and accepting of human hands. “It’s okay, beautiful. This won’t take long and you’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

She motioned Austen to join her. “Hang your hat on that peg. It’ll just be in the way.”

He followed her directions then walked closer, eying the two animals with a mix of curiosity and caution. “Aren’t you going to use a halter?”

“Alpacas are mouth breathers. If the halter slips and obstructs their breathing, they’ll panic. Then I’ll really have a problem on my hands.”

Once Austen stood directly across from her–only a skinny alpaca neck separated them–she realized the magnitude of her mistake. He was far too big, sexy, and his blue-green eyes were so unusual and intriguing. She wanted to map them in her memory.

He reached out to touch Betty. His long manicured–manicured? Really? Maybe just impeccably clean–fingers gently stroked Betty’s shorn back and shoulders. “You clip them? Like sheep?”

“Once a year. Money in the bank.” She didn’t have time to explain that alpaca fleece was one of the softest, warmest, most desirable fibers on the market.

She ducked under Betty’s neck and moved beside Austen to demonstrate what she needed him to do. “You want to secure her neck, gently but firmly. This will keep her still and you’ll avoid getting whacked. Their necks are very powerful.” The atmosphere felt too warm, too intimate, but she couldn’t turn back now.

Jezebel adroitly hopped sideways and abandoned her friend the moment Austen got close. Her nervous reaction was to pee. She straddled the communal potty spot and let go.

Serena saw Austen’s nose crinkle in disdain. Pee and poop were part of her daily routine. He probably had people who cleaned up his stalls for him. She intended to hire regular help once school started but even getting a day-helper had proven a challenge.

“Like this?” He put his arms around Betty’s neck, overlapping Serena’s arms momentarily. Betty let out a little hum of concern.

“Less tentatively. You want her to think you know what you’re doing.”

“Instead of being the virgin I am?”

His humor surprised her.

She liked it. “First times can be awkward. But don’t worry. This shouldn’t be painful.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

The rawness in his tone hinted at some pain or disappointment she never would have guessed from his Photoshop perfect smile.

“A little closer to her shoulder. She’s stronger than she looks.” She put her hands on his wonderfully muscled upper arms and turned him slightly. His warmth permeated her skin; his scent–something piney and deliciously masculine–filled her senses.

She blinked quickly, trying to maintain her focus. “Cozy up nice and tight. Let her snuggle against you and get a feel for you. I’ll tell you when to tighten your grip.”

Jezebel’s curiosity got the better of her and she stepped close enough to sniff Austen’s ear.

“No nibbles,” Serena told the elder alpaca.

Jezzie blinked her long curly lashes like an innocent coquette. Serena’s heart expanded with love. Her last boyfriend had called the alpacas Serena’s obsession.

“So?” she’d countered, like a five-year-old. “They’re my family. They’re part of the package. You either take them or leave me.”

He left.

Serena shook off the thought and got to business. She took off her gloves and grabbed the bottle of pink liquid and an injector. She depressed the drench syringe mechanism and pulled back, filling the hollow tube to the exact dosage.

“They make alpaca Pepto-Bismol? Who knew?”

“It’s not breed-specific.” She held up the bottle for him to see.

His grin said the question had been in jest. Her cheeks went hot. She thought she had a good sense of humor, but her college roommate had been quick to point out that many jokes went over Serena’s head. Certain social nuances were beyond her ken, simply because she had been today.

She walked around the animal’s hindquarters–keeping outside of the kick-zone. “Okay, now, secure her head. Firmly. Don’t forget, she’s more powerful than she looks. Alpacas and llamas use their heads as battering rams when it suits them.”

“What if I choke her?”

She appreciated the way his brow wrinkled and his jaw set firmly as he turned his focus on his job. He might look like a city boy, but he took orders well–a virtue that spoke to his upbringing, in her father’s opinion.

“You won’t. A nice, firm headlock and tilt her chin up.”

She used her free hand to pull down Betty’s lip so she could wedge the small, spoon-shaped metal end into her mouth. She pressed the plunger sending the pink liquid down her throat. “Keep her head up so she swallows. That’s good. Great job, but don’t let go. She needs some electrolytes, too.”

“Good girl, Betty Lou. Take it easy, sweetheart. We’re almost done.”

Betty gave a squeak and kicked, her small, sharp hooves poking the air behind her. “Easy, girl. This is going to make your tummy feel so much better. Relax.”

The last, a reminder for her. She’d done this a thousand times with her father, but this was her first time on her own. Did that make her a virgin?

She looked at Austen, whose entire focus was on Betty Lou. He murmured in her ear and soothed her with his beautiful hands.

Serena swallowed against the sudden tightness in her throat and grabbed the second bottle she’d brought from the house. It was a human sports drink she’d diluted. She opened the lid and filled the drench syringe a second time. “Almost done, girl. You’re doing great.”

Did her voice really sound that breathless?

“Better hurry. I’m running out of sweet nothings,” Austen said, dancing a bit with the nervous alpaca. He appeared to be sweating. She’d never seen anything sexier. “Can we change places?”

She hurried to his side. “No way. If you don’t get this down the right tube, she’ll aspirate. The last thing I want is a vet bill from an alpaca with pneumonia.”

“Okay. One more dance, Betty Lou?”

That he addressed her alpaca by name was nearly Serena’s undoing. She’d never dated a man who regarded her animals as anything but things, not living breathing beings with individual personalities. Her hand shook a tiny bit as she gave Betty her liquid.

“Good. One more and we’re done.”

She swore both Austen and Betty groaned. This time, Serena did the procedure quickly without hesitation. “Done. Let her go.”

Betty gave a little buck as she leaped to safety to hide behind her friend. Serena disposed of the apparatus and the bottles in a paper bag. She set everything just outside the stall.

This particular stall had an outside exit. “You might want to get out of the way.”

She unlocked the latch then pushed with her right arm. Jezebel, old pro that she was, trotted to freedom without the least bit of drama. Betty, who had been nibbling on a piece of last night’s dinner, glanced around to discover she was alone… with two humans.

She bolted, losing traction on the concrete under the straw. She wheeled to the left and tried to pass Austin on the opposite side he expected. Austen staggered back to avoid being stepped on.

A dainty hop and rock-solid poke of her head against his chest and Austen went down–butt-first into a pile of alpaca poo–the runny, icky reason they’d been treating her.

“Crap,” he muttered.

“You got that right,” Serena said.

She tried not to laugh. Really. She did.


Are you smiling? I hope so. And I hope you have a fabulous weekend with all sorts of great activities. If there’s an alpaca ranch/farm in your area, I suggest you check it out. Hug a fuzzy.


PS: Here’s the cover and the buy link to Amazon in case you want to read the rest of the story.















Happy Labor/Release Day

Today is the start of Labor Day weekend.

When I was a kid, this meant: the end of summer, the beginning of school, and a new season of TV shows.

My, how things have changed!

For one, I live in California, now, and it’s supposed to be hot all week.

weather CV

Second, about half the kids I know started school three weeks ago. My granddaughters start next Wednesday.

As as for network programming, the new shows, like Viola Davis’s new series, which I can’t wait to try, are still 3-4 weeks away.


Luckily, I have something to keep me busy until then. ;-)

For me, today is a different kind of Labor Day. Today marks the release of Nobody’s Cowboy, my second book for Tule Publishing, and the first book in my Big Sky Mavericks trilogy.


As every author knows, releasing a book is a little like giving birth. You’ve labored for weeks/months. You ate right, took your vitamins, did the research, picked a name and crossed for your fingers that the fruit of your labor would be well-received by the world at large.

The thing about Nobody’s Cowboy that has me worried is my hero. Austin Zabrinski was introduced in Cowgirl Come Home. He’s that book’s hero’s older brother. He has older brother syndrome. He may have felt he was only trying to take care of his younger brother but in doing so he may have come off a bit…umm…abrasive. Or, as several readers commented, “Austen is a pain in the arse.” (So to speak.)

Luckily, so far, the early reviews have all been positive.

From Shari: “Reading Nobody’s Cowboy, my family was wondering why I was laughing so hard. Communal toilet…Austen is redeeming himself already.”

From Christina: You have no idea how awesome it was to read “Northern California” and not find out she was from the Bay Area! And the mention of Jefferson was awesome, too! Loved it all!!!”

Like any mama, I’m nervous about sending my baby off into the big, chaotic world, but I’m excited, too. Here’s a buy link, in case you want to take advantage of the release day price of 99¢. BUY

So, what’s on your Labor Day agenda? I will be R&Ring with friends on the West Coast of California–and watching the Amazon stats for Nobody’s Cowboy, like the hovermother I am. ;-)


Have a great 3-day weekend, everyone!


PS: For those of you who love to hold a “real” book in your hot, little hands, Cowgirl Come Home is finally available from CreateSpace. AND, the ebook version will be FREE at Amazon, Sept. 1-4, if you want a copy on your ereader, too. BUY

The great/annoying wrist saga continues

Good morning, my lovelies.

Today marks the start of week three of my great broken wrist saga. I am happy to say I have good news for you. I went to the [Orth soap edict] orthopedic specialist on Tuesday. The first thing his technician did was take off the 8-pound bowling ball. Yay!!!

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Next, they took two x-rays.

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Then I got to meet the doctor. First impressions: young, focused, smart, compassionate and handsome. He was accompanied by a second young man, whom I was told was a third-year medical student on rotation. Shades of McDreamy/McSteamy–they were both absolutely gorgeous.

My writer brain immediately started plotting some future story that involved a handsome young orthopedic doctor. And I liked him even more when he showed me my x-ray and said, “There is absolutely nothing I can do surgically that will improve this situation. Your bone is healing beautifully. I’m going to put you in lightweight [past] cast and I’ll see you back here in three weeks.”

This was music to my ears. I was definitely in love, now.

My next stop was to a technician who fitted my new light weight high-tech cast on my wrist. I loved him, too, because when I told him I was a romance writer, he told me that he was getting going to propose to his girlfriend this weekend. How perfect is that!? I gave him a bookmark and told him I’d be thinking about him and wished him well. Let’s all give a quick romantic shout out for [Parchis] Markus.

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In the meantime, since I had line edits to complete on Nobody’s Cowboy (Book I in my Big Sky Mavericks series from Tule Publishing) which is releasing NEXT Friday, OMG! I learned how to use Dragon. I am marginally impressed. Who thinks about adding punctuation when they speak? But it has saved my wrist a lot of pain and anguish. I do appreciate that aspect of it, but there’s still a bunch of editing that needs to be done. I left a couple of the dragon speak errors (the peculiar notations in brackets []) in this so you would see them and probably get a laugh.

Thanks so much for all your good wishes your prayers and your healing thoughts. I am very pleased with my progress so far and I hope to be back to normal in the 3-4 weeks that my doctor predicted.