Tag Archives: dogs

Must Love Dogs, er, Cats…okay, and dogs (Sparkle and Abbey)

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Sparkle, white as sugar and deceptively sweet

Sparkle: We’d like to thank Lymond for inviting us to be guests this week. I’m Sparkle, the cat part of this team and the dog part is – hey there, girlfriend, you’re on.

Abbey: What? Oh, hello all. I was just taking a little nap waiting for it to be time. Hold on…

Sparkle: She’ll be back. It’s that chasing light thing; she just can’t help himself. In the meantime, let me fill you in. Here’s the deal, our human moms are writers and they decided to write this mystery series. It’s kind of a fun series with these two cousins who are former Texas beauty queens. The girls have ditched their hairspray and tiaras for botanical flea dip, doggie couture and over-the-top pet lovers.

Abbey: Wait! Over the top, what does that mean? Is that bad? That’s sounds bad.

Sparkle: I don’t really know. I think it means the very best. You know, like the top, but more.

Abbey: Oh, okay, that’s good then. I like their titles. Desperate Housedogs, Get Fluffy, and Kitty Kitty Bang Bang. Does a cat get shot in that last one?

Sparkle: No, of course not. No pets are harmed in any of their books.

Abbey: That’s woof. I mean, good. Woof, woof…

Sparkle: Sorry folks, she’s gone again. There was something outside the window. Now where were we? Oh right, the books. They’re mystery books and the people who read them say the books are sassy and fun. They must have learned that part from me. They co-write the books and when they write together at my mom’s house, I try to help them by typing things on the computer screen or saving their places. If either mom gets up, I sit on the keyboard so they don’t forget where they were. Sometimes I even help them edit. You can see me working here: http://youtu.be/nJfyqYd9bDk (I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille)

Abbey, as good as a dog can get.

Abbey: Back. Do we get treats for this gig? My mom said there’d be treats. I like carrots. What do you like?

Sparkle: Well, certainly not carrots. My treats are specially made just for me and they come in a special sealed package and I only eat them on my special cat perch by the window.

Abbey: Lost me on the perch thing. So, we get treats but we don’t have to actually write the books, right? So why do they use our names and not their own.

Sparkle: Here’s the deal. The people that publish their books (Bell Bridge Books) asked them to use a pen name and they couldn’t decide on one. Then they came up with the idea that since the books are about pets and their owners, they would use their pets’ names. That’s us.

Abbey: Wow, that’s kinda cool. But why me? Why didn’t they use my brother, Chewbacca?

Sparkle: Well, duh. It sounds like a big hairy thing. Our moms are not big and hairy.

Abbey: Good point. Are we about done? I’m missing my nap…

Sparkle: I guess we are about done. The books feature Caro Lamont, a pet therapist, and Mel Langston, a pet boutique owner, and they’re set in Laguna Beach, California. Lots of dogs and cats there, I hear.  You can find out more about our mom’s books on their website: sparkleabbey.com  The only other thing I want to say before I head out for a little catnap myself is that our moms like to partner with pet rescue groups for their books events. We don’t often attend ourselves, (well, I guess Abbey got to go to Yappy Hour) but we do believe very much in these groups. We both came from the animal rescue place in our town. So please support the animal rescue group in your town. It takes care of other furry friends like us. Right, Abbey?  Abbey?

Abbey: :::doggie snores:::

Sparkle: Oh boy, she’s out. In any case, thanks again, Lymond, for inviting us, and also please tell your C-O thanks, as well, when she’s back from her travels.

Sparkle and Sparkle, Abbey and Abbey, a terrific team with fabulous book titles to go along with their fabulous stories..

Sparkle Abbey is the pseudonym of mystery authors Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter. They write the popular pet mystery series from Bell Bridge Books which features whodunits set in the wacky world of precious pedigrees, pampered pets, and secrets. The first book in the series Desperate Housedogs (2011), an Amazon bestseller, was followed by Get Fluffy (2012) and Kitty, Kitty, Bang, Bang (2013). Yip/Tuck will be out this summer.

A Dog with a Job (Mo and Parker Blue)

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Mo, the Dog with a Job

Hi, my name is Mo.  Yep, that’s it, short and sweet.  I know it sounds like a boy’s name, but I’m a girl.  I won’t bore you with the story of how I got my name.  Think of it as being short for Maureen.

Parker Blue—she’s my mom—adopted me when I was eight months old.  I vaguely remember being left in a cold, cruel garage as a puppy, but I try not to think about that.  Now, I’m a dog with a job.  A muse, to be exact.  I’m proud to say I’m the inspiration for Fang, the snarky telepathic part hellhound, part terrier mix in Mom’s Demon Underground series.

Fang and I are nothing alike, though, except for our looks.  After all, he’s a guy, and a smart ass, feisty hellhound who rides on the back of a motorcycle and craves pizza like a fool.  I’m a polite terrier-poodle mix, heavy on the wire-haired terrier with only a bit of poodle to make my hair wavy.  My doctor calls me a Perrier—isn’t that silly?  Unlike Fang, I’ve never ridden a motorcycle in my life, and the only things I crave are chicken jerky strips and Dingo rawhide bones.  But we’re both cute and adorable.  Just ask Mom—she tells me that all the time.

Mom’s Avatar

Okay, maybe Fang’s attitude is a little similar to mine, but those are the only ways we’re alike.  Then again, I might be telepathic, too, but it’s hard to tell.  Fang can only talk to part demons, and Mom isn’t in the least demonic, so she can’t understand my thoughts.  I try and try to get her to understand, but most of the time, she’s clueless.  So, I have to resort to pawing her to pet me, poking her with my nose when I want something, or staring intently at her when she stands next to the treat cupboard.  Sometimes she understands, but at other times she just doesn’t get it.  Do you think she deliberately ignores me?  Naw, not Mom.

Diva, the model for Princess, wearing Fangs bike glasses.

There’s another dog who was the model for Fang’s love interest, Princess, in the books.  Her real name’s Diva and she’s a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who belongs to Pam Ireland at Bell Bridge Books, but I wouldn’t call her a muse.  After all, Mom has only seen Diva in a photo.  But me, I’m special.  I sprawl under Mom’s desk while she’s writing to give her inspiration, paw at her to give her a break when it’s time for dinner or to pet me, bark to warn strangers away, and cuddle up to her at night to remind her how special I am.

Daisy, a rescue dog with a happy new life

Being a muse is an important job, but it’s not my only one.  Mom adopted Daisy and Trixie who were rescued from horrible puppy mills.  I’m glad they got out of those awful places, but now I have another job—teaching them how to be real dogs.  Can you imagine they didn’t know what grass was?  What stairs were?  Or how wonderful it is to sleep in a soft bed?  And toys—they’d never seen a toy in their lives!

 

Trixie, a rescue dog who is still frightened, but love will change her life.

I show them how to play and act like real dogs.  It’s not easy, but I work hard at it.  Daisy will play with me sometimes—when she’s not sleeping on my butt or hiding under the bed—but Trixie was in that horrible world for so long, she hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet.  She’s even afraid of squeaky toys, if you can imagine that.  I won’t give up on her, though.  Mom is counting on me!

Daisy on top of Mo.

I’m getting a little hungry now, so it’s time for Mom to stop concentrating on fictional hellhounds, and feed the real dogs who live with her.  Gotta go!  Mom, oh Mo-om . . . http://www.parkerblue.net

 

 

 

I Stole My Mommy’s Chocolate Lover Boy… (Maggie Mae Stover and Deb Stover)

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Maggie Mae, so very innocent-looking and beautiful. Pictures can be deceiving.

Okay, technically, he was a gift for one of her friends.

Hi. My name is Maggie Mae and in my younger days–sigh–I was a bandit. In fact, Mommy (AKA Deb Stover) threatened to change my name to Bandit. See, I’m a poodle–no, not one of those ankle-biters. I’m a regal, elegant, tall standard poodle. Much like human teens, my legs grew faster than my common sense.
So did my appetite…
How was I to know muffins left to cool on top of the counter were off-limits? So I took a taste off the top of ten or so. Okay, maybe the entire dozen, but who’s counting? And that yummy yellow stuff in the butter dish Mommy keeps on top of the microwave that’s on top of a counter? I can reach that, too. She didn’t know that until I broke the dish. I didn’t eat any glass–just the butter.
Oh, and I really like cherries, too, but not the pits, so I made a mess on the kitchen floor after I pulled a bowl with several pounds of fresh bing cherries off the counter while Mommy was running errands.

I am a poor, hungry dog, begging for treats. Please, mommie, can I have some more? And I don’t mean gruel.

One Christmas–oh, those were the days–she ordered a special gift for the annual gift exchange at her local Romance Writers’ Holiday Party. She chose it with great care. For some reason, humans and Romance Writers have this thing about chocolate. I soon discovered why….

How was I to know that chocolate is toxic to dogs? I’m still not convinced of that, though Mommy is adamant about it. ::sigh::
Anyway, she was in her usual holiday hurry mode when the delivery came. I remember it well. Even though the box was completely sealed, it smelled like Heaven. She had an appointment, so she set it on her desk and gave me a treat, then hurried out the door.
I didn’t want the treat. I wanted whatever was inside that box. The aroma wafted into the air. My mouth watered. I could not resist it. Oh, bother. It wasn’t my fault a little sniffing knocked the box onto the floor. Was it? And some gentle nibbling on the end opened the gates of Heaven. Quivering with delight, I carefully tugged the pink box out of the plain cardboard. It was covered with hearts, but all I knew was something inside smelled like Nirvana.

A cold dog in the snow needs food to warm her up. Pickings are slim out here.

I took that box to my dog door–an extra large one for my nice long legs–and dragged it to the snowy rock garden right outside Mommy’s office window where she often stood to plot her stories and bitch about this or that and the other thing. The pink box opened even more easily than the brown one had, and the aroma was intoxicating. I tugged and a tray slid out. Inside was something I’d never tasted before. I devoured it in a few orgasmic swallows.

I knew Mommy would be angry, just like she was about the cake I’d eaten off the stove the day before–foil and all–but the veterinarian had said not to worry. In fact, she had laughed and said I would outgrow my tendency to steal food. I rather doubted that–especially if it tasted anything like the confection I’d just swiped from Mommy’s desk. Besides, I have Mommy’s heart, and she has mine. I know that like I know the aroma of something good to eat.
Sure enough, Mommy came home from her appointment. She looked down at the delivery box lying on her office floor, out the window at her snowy rock garden and the empty pink box, then down at my wagging tail and grinning poodle face.

It’s a wasteland out here.

“You ate my chocolate lover boy!”

There was a great deal of fuss made over my treat. The veterinarian–a very sweet woman–warned Mommy to watch for serious neurological symptoms, as chocolate is toxic to dogs. She said my size might protect me. Mommy vowed to start keeping all food locked up and behind doors, and she did. A day or two later, Mommy took me to see the veterinarian. Mommy said, “She’s just fine. Maggie Mae didn’t even have the decency to get a tummy ache.”
The vet laughed and said, “That’s good. It could have been serious.”
They talked some about how to stop me from stealing things that aren’t good for me. Oh, bother. Then the veterinarian asked Mommy, “By the way, where did you get that chocolate lover boy?”
I’d like to know that myself….
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Maggie Mae Stover lives with author Deb Stover. Once upon a time, Stover wanted to be Lois Lane until she discovered Clark Kent is a fraud and there is no Superman. Since publication of Shades of Rose in 1995, Maggie Mae’s Mommy has received dozens of awards for her cross-genre fiction. For more information, please visit

Taxes or Cats–Take your pick (Lynn Kerstan)

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TAXES! Can’t eat them, can’t afford them, don’t know what they are. It’s not like I get paid for working here. But I’ll do my part and introduce you to some lesser–but fun– felines.

As many of you know, I collaborated with a terrific writer and friend on a couple of projects: Gwen’s Ghost (aka Gwen’s Christmas Ghost), awarded a RITA by the Romance Writers of America, and The Drewe Sisters, a boxed set of two stories with two more to come. Working with Alicia Rasley was always fun, but dealing with taxes when collaboration is involved . . . not so much. Amazon pays me instead of dividing the royalties between Alicia and me. So I have to calculate what to send her, because we need to be exact. I spent my entire day with a calculator, pages and pages of reports, and utter confusion.

Cats are very protective of themselves, and they wish more humans were trained to know which portions of their anatomies are appreciative of petting

So with nothing intelligible to say, I decided to have some fun with cats. Not the resident cat, who has commandeered the footstool, leaving no room for my own foots. Vengeance, I suppose, for my protracted use of the vacuum cleaner yesterday. Cats have long memories, especially about where they discovered a tasty snack or became the victims of Terrible Things perpetrated by the Can-Opener. Trip to Vet tops the Evil List, and Vacuuming is a close second. Lucky for Monsieur le Comte, those miserable tortures are rare around here.

I got the music in me, I got the music!

For me, the Cute List is topped by kittens. Puppies are a distant second. They are truly adorable, but in their young days, the “pee/poop” element becomes relevant. We all do it, to be sure. And we all have to be trained where to do It. Kittens learn almost straightaway. Their sense of smell is better than that of most dogs–yes, that’s true and remains true in adulthood–and their mom or their new human mom has little to do but show them the litter box. They adapt to it immediately.

Sometimes, cats and dog bond in mischief.

Puppies pretty much do the necessary wherever they are when the urge comes on, and it requires training and more than one outside walk a day for dogs without a back yard at their disposal. But yes, humans are the worst. It takes a couple of years or more for us to be toilet trained, so clearly, we ought to be grateful that our pets learn much faster than we did.

Amazing picture, isn’t it? Friends Forever! And cats are reputed to be loners.

We often imagine that we are the primary focus of our pets, but they–like us–choose the objects of their love.

Oh, rats. Tricked into taking blame when I was innocent. Yeah, most times I’m guilty, but the cat always gets off scot free. Why is that?

And very often, cats choose dogs, if only to exploit them. Cats can be wily. Dogs, not so much. They’ll do anything for approval. They want humans to love them. Their one true goal in life is to give the human(s) who care for them all the trust and love in their hearts.

Cats, being low-maintenance, expect less commitment and spend an average of eighteen hours a day sleeping. Yup. We begin to understand their priorities!

My own cat is currently watching a political program on the TV. Politicians and pundits nearly always sound full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Meantime, let us acknowledge that other animals can be as fascinating as cats and dogs, And this guy, which happens to be a dog, is thinking what I would be thinking out on the beach, watching a sunset.

Beauty often makes me think of food. Surely, we need both of them in our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dogfight! (Maggie)

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Don't mess with me. I'm bigger than I look!

Meet Niblet. She weighs about 64 pounds, which is way more than she should. On the outside, that is. On the inside, she must weigh in at about 200. I make this assumption based on her recent behavior. But let me back up a little.

Last week, we headed up to Black Lake for a few peaceful days in a lodge on the shore, where Lance was going to do some odd jobs for his mom while I holed up and wrote like crazy.

Niblet had other ideas. For some reason, begin away from home seemed to re-activate her dormant aggression toward Daisy. Daisy, by the way, is a mastiff. 190 pounds. She’s slow to anger, but she will fight when attacked. As any dog (other than Dozer, I guess) would likely do.

I am running out of patience, little one.

So the entire time we were in the lodge, Niblet kept attacking Daisy. And not mildly, nor playfully. This was go for the throat, full blown “I want to kill you” violence. Daisy has big cuts on her neck where Niblet tried to tear out her jugular.

And of course, Daisy responded. She fought back. At one point (the final point, for me) she had Niblet’s entire head in her mouth. But Niblet’s head is, miraculously, still attached, and I realize that had Daisy wanted to hurt her, it would not be.

But that third and final fight was the worst, and Nib had several surface scratches and a couple of puncture wounds around her head. They bled, and her white fur was pink, and I was traumatized, but upon clean up, we found the wounds were very superficial.

And yet, it was traumatizing enough so that we gave up and came home.

I got about as many pages done as I would have here, so no gain, but no loss either. Once home, aside from a growl or two, the girls have resumed their friendly relationship. I don’t know what it was about being somewhere else–establishing territory? Closer quarters?–something. But we probably won’t try it again anytime soon.

Thursday, we were packing up and heading home, and got back exhausted and traumatized, which is why I didn’t post on my usual day. So I’m filling you in now.

And now onto another cool topic! We are finally getting entries on the VAMPIRE VIDEO CONTEST!
Here’s the link to the playlist with all entries.

http://www.youtube.com/my_playlists?p=64EA19F9D7D65238

We have two entries, so far, but both are really awesome, and we have a couple more coming in for sure. (And more that I don’t yet know about, I hope!) So stay tuned. Details on how to enter are on my site, http://www.maggieshayne.com/contest.html

That’s all for now. Off to work, as that book still isn’t finished (thanks a lot, Niblet) and the deadline is still looming!

Till next week!
Maggie

My Big Guy (Maggie)

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Dozer

This is Dozer.  If you’ve been following this blog, or anything I ever post anywhere, you already know him.  He’s the puppy who came to live with me after I lost everything to fire and who pretty much brought me back to life during that dark time.  And he’s also the apple of my eye.  My big guy.  At only 3 & 1/2 he shouldn’t be having any health issues, but apparently, he is.  Over the past few weeks, he started whining when going up the stairs.  So my partner Lance and I immediately moved our bedroom downstairs, into the space that used to be my office.  I put my office up where the bedroom used to be.  We baby-gated the staircase, and scheduled a vet’s appointment.  But our doctor found nothing obviously wrong.

Then this past Sunday night, we all went outside for a little air, and Dozer staggered backward and collapsed.  He nearly fell into the ditch, but Lance was fast enough to catch him.  Not an easy task as Dozer’s a hefty 195 lbs.  Nor was it easy to get him back into the house, as he seemed unable or unwilling to use his back legs at all.  But we managed it.  We got Dozer onto his doggy bed and started making calls.  Our own vet was unreachable, out on another emergency call, and we were advised to call Cornell University Veterinary Hospital, which has a 24 hour ER and is only an hour away.  Important note here; while we were on the phone, after about 10 minutes lying down, Dozer got up, walked stiffly away and came back with a toy in his mouth.  Huge relief to us, but still, it was obvious something was wrong.

Cornell advised us to bring him in immediately, so we did.  Eased him into the back of the Excursion by backing it up to a steep little hill that brings the ground up so it’s level with the vehicle floor.  No stepping up.  We drove an hour, arriving at the ER about 10:30 p.m.  And from there it was a very long night, with blood work, mild sedation, and X-rays.  We arrived home at 5:30 a.m., with very little new information, but armed with a few pain medications and prescriptions for more.

However, the next day, I visited our usual vet, Dr. Shing’s, office, learned he was actually out of town for two weeks, but was able to speak to his partner Dr. Martin, who interpreted the release papers from Cornell for me.

Dozer apparently has some narrowing around one of the disks in his spine, which is causing (we think) the pain he’s been experiencing.  It’s unclear whether this is due to a recent event–trying to breed Daisy, maybe–or rough play or an injury we didn’t witness, or whether it’s something that developed over time, or perhaps something he was born with.  That remains to be seen.  There’s also tenderness in his hips, so they can’t rule out hip dysplasia, but to rule it in requires a difficult, painful X-ray under general anesthesia, terrible on the dog.

They also found a pronounced heart murmur.  Dr. Martin says he may well need spinal surgery, that we need an MRI to be sure, but that surgery won’t be possible without a full cardiac workup to be sure his heart can handle it.

At this point our heads are spinning.  The plan of action for now is to keep him as inactive as possible, no stairs, no jumping on

"As is the lion to the cat, so is the mastiff to the dog"

and off furniture, no rough play with the other dogs, no walks further than needed to go to the bathroom.  The pain meds make him a bit more sleepy than usual, so that helps him stay calm.  The goal at the moment is to get the inflammation and swelling down through rest, get the pain under control in the meantime, and then have another consultation with Dr. Shing once all the test results are in from Cornell, deciding on a course of action then.

Lance and I are both very against the notion of spinal surgery.  Even on humans, it’s usually a last resort, and often leaves the patient worse off than before the procedure.  So our hope is first, that it’s not needed at all, or if it is indicated, that we can avert it through other means.  We’re looking into holistic veterinary services including chiropractic care and acupuncture.  And we’re unsure about the further tests, echocardiogram and MRI.  It’s a lot to put him through, and if we’re against surgery, I’m not sure they’re warranted.  It all remains to be discussed and decided upon.  Right now, we’re in the first week of rest and pain meds.  We’ll need a few more weeks of those, before we can even begin to make any decisions regarding further treatment and testing.  One thing we do know we need to do almost immediately is to have our Daisy spayed.  The effort of trying to breed her, the physical exhaustion to which Dozer pushes himself during her heat cycles, is clearly no longer something we can allow, and her next cycle could be coming within the next month or so.  So we need to move on that.  We were going to do this anyway this year if breeding was unsuccessful.  We intended to try one more time this fall, but clearly that’s not a good idea on any level.  And both male and female dogs have longer life expectancies when they’ve been spayed or neutered.

Daisy, Lance, Niblet, Dozer

In the meantime, we’re doing Reiki and have friends doing Theta healing and other energy based healing methods.  And we’re babying him to no end, even while trying not to fall into the trap of seeing him as injured and fragile, but rather, as having a brief setback and on his way back to full health again.

We welcome ALL of your help.  If you are an energy healer, permission is hereby granted, gratefully, for you to work on Dozer.  Your prayers are welcome, your well wishes, your thoughts, your spells.  But we ask that as you send them, you always keep a healthy, happy, pain free image of Dozer in mind.

He is feeling much better today.  The pain meds are working so well it’s getting more difficult to keep him still.  He wants to play.  And that’s a very good sign.  His appetite is improving as well.

He is a very loved creature, and that is always a good thing.  Love is the most powerful thing, in fact, in the universe.  And we have plenty of that.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and energies!  I’ll keep you posted!

Much love,

Maggie & Dozer

Seasons and Such (Maggie)

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Maggie & Dozer

Okay, so I suppose I have to admit at this point that I was wrong in my prediction of an early spring here in the northeast. It was still snowing a little bit as late as yesterday. And our morning temperature here still hasn’t hit 40, though I expect it to get there momentarily. The forecast high today is 55. We’ll have about three days of high 50′s and then Monday it’ll be 73. This is a phenomenon that happens where we live from time to time. Winter lingers too long, and then suddenly it’s summer. And we’re left wondering what happened to spring. Not complaining, mind you, just observing.

The photo above is the one I’m sending in for the RITA Awards. (Imagine the word RITA with the little R inside a circle beside, as it’s a registered trademark.  I’ve never been able to find a way to insert it via my keyboard, and not one font on my Mac includes it, so just be aware.)  The Romance Writers of America (another trademark) will put a photos of the nominated authors and their book covers up online, and in the magazine, and then on the big giant screen at the back of the stage on our glittering gleaming awards night. I dithered a bit about what photo to use. This one was my favorite, especially since one of the nominated books (KILL ME AGAIN) featured Dozer as the third main character, Freddie. My daughter Lisa, a fabulous photographer, took the shot, but I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and no makeup. Then I found India Redman, who actually changed my outfit and added a bit of makeup by magic! If anyone needs a photo retouched, definitely contact her. I have her email.

So yes, RITA finalist day this year was a very good one for me. And after the first call, first thing in the morning, I was convinced that would be all, and just basking in happiness. And that’s when the second call came in. I blogged about it on my solo blog. Was in the midst of writing the blog, in fact, when that second call came in. And it amazed me how easily the Law of Attraction worked for me in this case, when I was relaxed enough to allow it. I felt like quoting the kids from South Park, “I learned something today.”

I’m still learning. Lots of good things happening around here. I’m doing my best to bask in every one of them, and relax enough to allow even more.

And there are sure to be more to come, and soon, too, as TWILIGHT PROPHECY goes on sale April 19th in print, and May 1st in E. The reviews are coming in: 5 Stars from Night Owl Reviews has been the highlight so far. Send me links if you find any (But not to bad ones. You know I’ll mope for days if I see those.)

As for me, I’m heading outside to enjoy our 3-day Spring before it’s gone!

Oh, and please tune in to my Health and Fitness Facebook Page, where I’ll be cajoling members to join me in my “Spring Training All Out Get Ready For RITA Award ™ Ceremony Bootcamp Workout.”  I want to rock my glam gown and have strong enough knees to handle one night in killer heels.  I might shorten the name of the challenge, though.

Hugs,
Maggie

Ten Things Your Dog Wants You To Know (Dozer)

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Maggie & Dozer

Dozer here! I’m taking Maggie’s slot today to speak for the canines, because as you may or may not know, we have a lot to say. And not everyone “gets” us. But if you want a dog in your life, you need to try.  Nothing gets my fur standing up more than seeing dogs who aren’t being treated the way they ought to be.  We give so much!

So I thought I’d tell you a few of the things your dog would tell you if he could speak your language. But most of you reading this already know, so I’ll just add, that if you see dogs being mistreated, and do nothing, you’re a very bad girl!

So here’s what your dog would tell you if he could.

1. I am need mental stimulation and stuff to do just as badly as you are. Imagine if you were shut in a small room all day, every day, with a couple of rubber toys and some food and water. Or worse, in a small cage? You’d get bored.  You’d go crazy.  You’d be a complete nutcase when you were finally able to get out.  You’d be a bad dog.

2. When we get bored, we invent things to do. One of the most common activities for desperately bored canines, is chewing. We’ll chew just about anything if we’re bored enough. So if your four legged companion is destroying your home, it’s not his fault. It’s yours.

3. My DNA is 99.9% identical to that of my ancestor, the wolf. Now what is the wolf’s natural diet? Raw meat, roots, maybe an apple now and then. But it’s a rare day when you’ll see a wolf chowing down on corn, rice or wheat. Yet that’s the main ingredient in that hard, dry crap you insist on feeding us. Listen, even if “whole grains and vegetables” sounds good to you, it’s not good for us. We need meat. So buy dog food with meat as the main ingredient, or buy meat. If you can’t afford to feed us what we’re supposed to have, then you can’t afford a dog.

4. Flea and tick treatments are not once and done. You need to apply them every 4 to 6 weeks during every month when the outside temperature averages 50 degrees or higher where you live. Would you want to go around with biting, itching, creepy crawlers in your fur? I didn’t think so.

5. If you yell at us for barking, we think you’re joining us in barking. So don’t yell and think that’s going to make us get quiet. Speak calmly and quietly if you want us calm and quiet.

6. We go freaking insane if we don’t get enough exercise. So really, walk us. A half hour, morning and evening, is kind of the minimal amount required. Besides, it’s fun!

7. In between walks we need to be played with.

8. The more time you spend with me, the more affection you show me, the more eager I will be to please you!

9. We get cold in the winter. We get overheated in the summer.  Too much of either extreme can kill us.  We need comfort just like you.

10. We LOVE learning new words, and we can learn hundreds. We LOVE learning new tricks and being lavished with love and praise is as good a reward as a treat. Sometimes even better. Because really, there’s nothing we love as much as we love you guys. And if you love us back, well, that’s pretty much our idea of heaven.

In return for all that, we’ll be great for you in return.  People with pets have lower levels of stress, they get more exercise, they have more regular blood pressure, they are happier, healthier, and they live longer.  So really, for all that, what we ask in return is pretty small.

Well, that’s my bit. Hope you enjoyed it.

Dozer

On The Road (Tara Taylor Quinn and Kelly Chapman and Taylor)

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Kelly Chapman here.  I’m delighted to report that my good friend and I are on a mini vacation.  We’re at the home of ttq’s very good friend, another one of the Storybroads, Patrica Potter.  I’m honored that ttq brought me along.  And I am having an absolutely wonderful time.  Being with ttq and Pat is an adventure.  In activity and in conversation.  More so in conversation.  I’ve been given a new view of the life of a writer.  The view of writers together.

It’s an interesting study.  If I were the jealous sort, I’d probably be feeling a twinge or two.  Being a writer is a lonely business.  I’ve known that for a couple of years.  I’ve worried about ttq as I’ve watched her day in and day out, travel through so much of her life locked in her own mind.  And yet, this week, I discovered something new and wonderful.

Being a writer means you’re a part of a sisterhood (and brotherhood) that no one else can enter.  Writers get together and they blossom.  Whether there are two of them, or more, they are a community of understanding.  They complete each other’s sentences – we all have times when we can do that with someone we’re with – but writers seem to more often choose exactly the right words to complete another’s sentence.  Writers live in a multi-layered world.  They are on the surface, living the moment as it happens, and at the same time, they are inside with the voices.  And when they are together, it’s almost as though the voices inside the writers speak to the voices inside of the other writers while we’re all sitting at a table having audible conversation.

This week I’ve had the rare opportunity to be on the inside of the circle.  A chance that not many non-writers have.  I never knew ttq had so much to say.  She and Pat talk.  And talk.  And talk.  They don’t run out of things to say.  And every word carries something of interest.  They discuss the world around them just like most people, but they don’t stop with the facts.  They talk about the feelings, the meanings, the eventual results.  I’ve learned about the stock market.  (I’m going home to look at my investment account and see if I need to move things around a bit.)  And while there are charts and percentages that should be used to determine purchase and sales, I am also now going to pay attention to the product and its emotional placement in society.  I’ve learned about a man who’s running for governor of New York representing the ‘rent’s too damned high party.’  Yes, we’ve been discussing politics.  And I’ve learned about cooking.  Pat’s making her famous shephard’s pie.

I’ve learned that writer’s listen.  At least these two do.  They absorb all that is offered to them.  I’d give my opinion and Pat and Tara would not only take it in, they asked questions that told me they were really hearing me.  I realize I’m a bit odd in that I notice these things, but I’m okay with that.

We went out to lunch with another writer friend.  It was just the four of us.  Lunch lasted a couple of hours.  And ended far too soon.  I was in heaven, taking in the dynamics, the words, the things unsaid but clearly understood.  Three very distinct and different personalities, and yet three completely like souls in a very elemental way.  The respect between these women was a breath of very fresh air to me.

Yesterday we ate very unhealthy food and had a great time in Mississippi.  Pat took us to a new restaurant owned by the star of a cooking show.  I’d tell you who she is except that I’m about to tell you that I don’t particularly like her cooking.  Everything, including the vegetables that could have been healthy, was coated in butter.  And cheese.  Even the biscuits had cheese.  There was cheeseburger meatloaf.  Cheese grits.  And Macaroni and cheese.  Now I like cheese as well as anyone.  I eat it regularly.  But an entire menu of it just is not good for the digestive system.  Still, it was a buffet and we had fun tasting all kinds of things we’d never had before.  We had dessert, too.  ttq’s was the best.  I had cheesecake that wasn’t worth finishing.  Pat had cherry pie that was delicious.  And ttq had a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing that was the perfect taste.  (We shared with each other.)

We have a houseful of furry friends as well.  Katie and Allie have been the perfect hostesses to little Taylor who isn’t shy about spreading her love – and her opinions – around.  Here she’s letting Pat know that she is the queen in residence and Allie really should understand that she’s supposed to wait her turn.

ttq wanted to share one other picture with you all.  It’s unarguably the best.  But our hostess forbade us from publishing it.  What I can tell you is that it’s a classic.  All three of us laughed out loud when we saw it.  ttq is still smiling.

So for today’s challenge, if you’d like to see the picture, let Pat know.  Get your friends to let Pat know.  Maybe, collectively, we’ll be able to convince her that she can trust us to enjoy the picture in the spirit of friendship.

 This post is brought to you as part of The Chapman Files International Blog Tour. Over the next three months, as we celebrate The Chapman Files, Tara Taylor Quinn and I are going to be asking for help.  We’re raising money for Strengthen Our Sisters, the US’s first battered women’s shelter.  If you can, join us in our fight against Domestic Abuse. Go to http://www.tarataylorquinn.com/and click the donate button to go directly to a secure Paypal site. Or just comment here to show your support.

There’s an item from our new book, The Second Lie, hidden on the tour with us. Guess the item to enter the drawing to win it! Today’s clue: They’re hot and steamy.  Send all guesses to staff@tarataylorquinn.com. To see previous clues visit blog sites listed at http://www.tarataylorquinn.com/. Guess as many times as you’d like!

Don’t miss The Chapman File tour party on December 4th at http://www.eharlequin.com/! Tour prize winners will be announced!

Next blog tour stop: Friday, October 22nd, 2010 on Super Authors, http://community.eharlequin.com/content/its-friday-tara-taylor-quinn-and-kelly-chapman. We hope to see you there! The more blogs you visit with us, the more chances you have to win! Every time you comment your name is dropped in the bag for the prize drawings.

For weekly blog tour dates, visit http://www.tarataylorquinn.com/. Or to have the weekly schedule sent directly to your email, send request to staff@tarataylorquinn.com.

For all our blog readers today, ttq has a special link below that will give you a printable coupon for $1.00 off the purchase of her latest book, The Second Lie. 

http://www.tarataylorquinn.com/The%20Second%20Lie%20Coupon.pdf